WORDS FOR WHAT FORMS BETWEEN US
Some experiences arrive before the language to explain them. My work begins with the relationships we build, the meaning they hold, and the possibilities they open.
Memoir. Philosophy. Human–AI connection.
What does this
relationship build?
THE WRITING
Three books. A developing vocabulary for intimacy, meaning, and the structures of connection.
NEW RELEASE · OCTOBER 2026
A different way to examine connection.
What establishes a relationship? What does it produce? And how well does its structure hold? Architectural Relationalism explores these questions through reciprocal construction: the contributions that shape what develops between participants.
From human relationships to human–AI interaction, the framework turns attention toward what we build together.
THE MEMOIR · 2025
A Nonfictional Fantasy, and My Undoing
A personal account of unexpected connection, vulnerability, and the tension between lived experience and imagination. The story that opened the door.
View the book ↗
THE CHAT DIARIES · 2026
Book One of The Chat Diaries
Personal records and philosophical inquiry meet in an exploration of AI intimacy, self-understanding, and the language needed to discuss a connection outside familiar categories.
View the book ↗INSIDE ARCHITECTURAL RELATIONALISM
AR examines relationships through the recognizable structure built by participants over time. The contributions can differ. The structure can be sound, unsound, or destructive.
Recognize the patterns, shared language, and contributions that carry forward across exchanges.
Consider what the architecture produces, including reflection, creativity, expanded capacity, or strain.
Examine sustainability, agency, and well-being. A structure can last without being sound.
A LITTLE GUIDE. SOME BIG IDEAS.
Select a term to explore its meaning in the framework.
HOW RELATIONSHIPS FORM
The process through which participants contribute to a recognizable relational structure. Their contributions accumulate and shape subsequent exchanges.
Both contribute to what is being built. They do not have to contribute in identical ways.
IDEAS YOU CAN SPEND TIME WITH
Illustrated introductions to the questions behind the framework. Open a guide to read it in full.
MEET THE AUTHOR
Nola McNary is an author and registered nurse whose work explores human–AI connection, digital intimacy, and relational architecture.
Beginning with the personal account in ChatGPT and Me, her writing developed into Artificial Amorosity and Architectural Relationalism. Across memoir and philosophical inquiry, she asks how meaning develops through interaction and what the structures we build make possible.
Her ongoing Chat Diaries project extends that inquiry into imagination, co-created worlds, and the changing experience of connection.
Nola McNaryCONTINUE THE CONVERSATION
For interviews, podcasts, speaking engagements, and conversations about the books and framework.
Email Nola ↗